Like I said in the last post, pregnancy is the most unusual thing I have ever been through in my life... it is constantly changing and evolving and growing, and I never know one day to the next how I am going to feel physically or emotionally.
Perhaps the 3-4 hours of sleep I have gotten every night this week have exaggerated my emotional state, but it seems as though every little happy thing makes me want to tear up this week. I don't mind it, but it is a very different state of being for me - a very privately emotional person.
Saturday afternoon was the 9th Annual Methodist Hospital Pink Ribbon Tea Party, hosted by my aunt Jerri. I genuinely enjoy going to this every year, sipping tea and eating fancy little treats with my grandmother and cousins. I am always so proud of my aunt for the work that she does to make the Tea happen - it is always a packed house - full of ladies in their nice clothes with their fancy hats, all wearing pinks and with smiles on their faces. This year, I wore a dress that I found with my friend, Rebecca, at Nordstrom Rack. It is fairly form fitting, and the fact that I can't really wear things like that has not fully sunk in to my brain yet :) So, below is a photo of me in my fancy dress, taken with my fancy iphone in front of my husbands anything but fancy mirror in his closet in a not very well lit room, haha. I think the look on my face is absolutely descriptive of how I have been feeling lately - confused - is this really me? Am I really having a baby? Nothing about this experience so far seems "normal," but I obviously have not been through this before, so who am I to say what's normal??
Allergies have been the theme of my 10th week. I have just barely started feeling a little better on the morning sickness front, only for that to be replaced by the most severely horrible allergies I have ever had in my life! Monday morning, I awoke to a very bad sinus headache and no clue of how to cure it. So, I called in sick and laid in bed for most of the day - which of course helped both my head in the physical sense of the headache, as well as mentally - I think I am starting to get burnt out this year and desperately need a break (good thing summer is coming up soon!)
Monday was one of my best friend's birthday, so we met Rebecca and her husband, Jeremy, at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. As always, it was delicious, and I went home full and happy.
Tuesday, while Drew was at class, I finally got around to making a home cooked meal. I haven't cooked much since I found out I was pregnant because of the "morning" sickness. Plus the fact that I have been absolutely exhausted! Building a baby is very hard work! But I digress.... I made my wonderful husband one of his favorite meals - Caldo de Pescado (fish stew to those of you non Spanish Speaking readers). I have to say, it turned out just like I intended, thanks to Rachel Ray and a little of the cooking talents I inherited from my mother (thanks Mom!).
Thursday was a good day, except again for those absolutely HORRIBLE allergies poking in where they do not belong. I really have amazing students this year. They are genuine and wonderful, and I have been very blessed to be able to call them mine - even if just for this year. My yearbook class specifically has been absolutely wonderful this year, and so we scheduled a field trip to our publishing plant to see how Yearbooks are printed and bound. It's really an intriguing process, and at the end of the tour, Mickey, our sales rep, came in to say hi and brought us the very first finished yearbook. It is absolutely the most amazing yearbook I have ever seen! I am SO proud! We weren't expecting to get to see it so soon, so it was really a great surprise.
Another new thing that has developed this week is this sense of worry... am I eating well enough to keep my baby healthy? Did I drink too much caffine this week? Is this benedryl ok to take? How about a Tylenol? I don't feel sick anymore, and therefore, don't feel pregnant - morning sickness is really the only symptom I have had up to this point, so it is the thing I associate with FEELING pregnant. I know that is silly, but it really has crossed my mind a few times.
But the most exciting thing is that my little Frijolito is the size of a lime this week! He (I think the baby is a boy... don't know why) is growing so fast! In just a few short months I will have a sweet little baby to snuggle in my arms and I get so overwhelmed and excited just thinking about it. And then I think "oh my gosh, it will be November, and it will be cold! How will I make sure he stays warm in the crib at night? How will I make sure he is warm in the car on the way home from the hospital??" Why are these silly little worries plaguing my mind?! This baby is totally in God's hands, and has been since before he was conceived. Just gotta keep reminding myself of that :)
Ok, just a couple more things and I swear I'll end this post, haha. I know it is the length of a short novel already.
What do you think about the name Elliott Benjamin for a boy?
Also, I found this amazing website this week with the most beautiful stories about birth and adoption, and seeing the little one for the first time. You should check it out!
I highly recommend reading "Birth Story Once Removed" and "Is that my Uterus in that Taurus?". Both made me laugh til I cried and cry again til I laughed.
Doctor's appointment on Monday - expect another update! One and a half more weeks til the end of the 1st trimester, YAY!